I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
You left your phone here
Wait...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
