Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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