Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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