I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I need to align my fucking chakras
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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