Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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