Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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