You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
