How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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