I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
