Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
