It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
The uberlube is also flammable
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
