if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
