I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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