Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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