next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
