I think i peed on brittanys purse
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
