Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
