we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
