That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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