I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
