The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
