im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
