what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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