dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
