My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
