I think I died a long time ago.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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