We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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