I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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