just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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