Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
