answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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