sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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