you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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