saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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