if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
