i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
