I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
