I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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