do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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