yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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