So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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