marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
