That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
