i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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