You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
