I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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