dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Randomize
