She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
