Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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