Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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