he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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